In-Laws Causing a Strain on the Marriage

This comment was left here in this blog.

Leanne002 said...

I don't quite know what to do with my in-laws too. They hate me. I've tried every way there is to get their approval but to no avail. My husband is sad about this, but like the letter sender, he can't defend me. It's causing a bit of a strain in our relationship. :(

Answer:

Dear Leanne,

The best thing you can do for people who don't approve of you no matter what you do, is just be yourself and continue to be civil. If you never give them a reason to not like you, you will never have a reason to really feel bad about anything. As easy as this sounds, and as hard as it is, try to not let their negative attitude rub off on you. Continue to stay positive in their presence and say and do nice things for them, no matter how they act toward you. It is always best to be the "bigger" person.

Do not put the pressure on your husband to defend you. It is not his fault that his parents do not fully accept you. And it's not your fault either. Never put anything in between yourself and your husband. It is already hard enough to figure out the dance of just being married and trying to live life together. Don't add any extra strain. Sometimes you just have to accept the way others feel about you when it has nothing to do with you at all. Many people walk through this life with pre-conceived notions and assumptions. We cannot change everyone's minds and we cannot control everyone's automatic thoughts.

As long as you are being the best person you can be in life, shrug it off and say oh well. The more you dwell on it, the more those people have control over your thoughts and feelings. Let it go and you will be relieved from the grasp they had on you. I always say, don't worry about the things you can do anything about. Worry about the things you can do something about and then do it!

Best of Blessings,

Lisha